Hi everyone! This spur of the moment post was brought to you my boredom. Well, it does have a little bit of substance behind it. As you all may know, I’m a big movie buff and, in this age of streaming, I can watch any movie I think looks remotely interesting. At the beginning of the year, I always make a little list of movies I want to see. Sometimes, these movies don’t live up to the hype so this is my “warning” to you all about some of these movies that may try to trick you with an interesting premise, good cast, or good CGI.
Velvet Buzzsaw: I actually just watched this movie last night and it basically inspired this post. This movie came to Netflix at the beginning of February. The general plot is that there are paintings that come to life and kill people. It sounded great, the cast was good, and the special effects were wild. Two out of these three things were in the movie. The cast was good and the effects were well done but that was the only good thing about the movie. It took too long to set up the crazy art world. The deaths weren’t that gory or even interesting. I spent way too long questioning the supernatural powers of the paintings. I shouldn’t be bored by a horror movie. The potential was there and then it wasn’t.
Solo: A Star Wars Story: You don’t need to be a Star Wars fan to know that this movie was not good. First of all, I was never interested in Han Solo’s backstory. Second, why would I want a movie about normal humans when Jedis exist? Did the filmmakers think we were sick of Jedis? Rogue One worked because it had characters we knew nothing about and it filled in the blanks of the plot for the trilogy. For those of you who don’t know, it took forever to make Solo because they changed the directors and the script multiple times. It would have been better just to shelve the movie.
Avengers: Age of Ultron: As a huge Marvel fan, this one hurt me. Is it the worst Marvel movie? Absolutely not. It did, however, just bring some weird things to the Avengers canon, like giving Hawkeye a family and trying to make Bruce and Natasha a couple. I was so distracted by plot points like these that it took away from the better addition such as the Maximoff twins. At the end of the day, I mostly blame Joss Whedon for this. Thankfully, Marvel has more than made up for these missteps.
The fourth and fifth movies in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise: I adored the first three movies of the Pirates of the Caribbean series as a kid. The first two movies still hold up. The third is on shaky ground but has its moments. The fourth and fifth one, however, are garbage. I only vaguely remember the plots. Neither were particularly interesting or engaging in any way. I remember the fourth one being anticlimactic but they tried to make it funny. The fifth one was just awkward. The worst part was was that they tried to set up a sixth movie. How about no.
Ready Player One: I did a review of this novel a while ago so, of course, I was excited of the movie adaptation. The movie, however, fell into the trap that a good majority of adaptations do. Weirdly enough, the movie seemed to remove a lot the video game aspect that was so important in the book. They changed the quests to be more movie based. It was as though they didn’t feel like explaining any of the video game references. The villains ended up being more of a mafia, rather than a sophisticated corporation. Even my mom, who didn’t read the book, knew there were adaptation issues.
Jurassic World: The Fallen Kingdom: This was not a movie I had high hopes for to begin with. I’ve always been fine with the first Jurassic Park movie and I didn’t need anything else. Jurassic World ended up being a pleasant surprise with enjoyable enough content. The sequel, however, was trying way too hard and it accomplished nothing. Half of the movie plot wasn’t even remotely hinted at in the trailer. It seemed like a straightforward island adventure movie where they were going to save dinosaurs. That only lasted half the movie. The rest of the movie was some weird thing where they had to take down a dinosaur black market thing. The movie wanted to have some political message but it failed.
The Matrix: Here is my most controversial opinion: I didn’t think The Matrix was that interesting. There I said it. Now, bring on the hate. I just felt the plot was so heavy handed. While I liked the atmosphere, I didn’t like how all of the characters talked with the same ominous tone. Throughout the movie, all of the characters keep asking if Neo is the One and it’s so annoying. You can tell the writers gave themselves a pat on the back for the whole anagram name thing. It’s not even that clever. I can see why people love the movie but I just could not get into that.