Book Characters I Would Fight IRL

Hi all! I’m not here because I’ve finished a book. Instead, I have been inspired by BookTube. Several BookTubers I watch have made similar videos to this and I thought I would join in. Yes, I will talk smack about your favorite character. Feel free to fight back as I take down your favorite character or feel free to agree with me.

Severus Snape: “Hi, my name is Snape and my crush dumped me so I’m going to be a dick to children.” Ugh, this man pisses me off to no end. Allan Rickman gets all the kudos for giving us a great performance, but the character himself is such a douchebag. He had decades to get over Lily and accept her choices. They could have easily remained friends, but instead, Snape chose to be a bitter jerk who has thing for betraying people. I love a complex character as much as the next person, but we need to agree that Snape made bad life choices.

Sherlock Holmes: I’m a huge fan of the original Sherlock Holmes series. I’ve read all of those stories and spin-off novels. I’ve watched many live action adaptations. If I ever met Sherlock Holmes in real life, I would punch him in his smug face. The hubris of the man is ridiculous. If it weren’t for Watson, I would probably not enjoy those books at all. Holmes spends most of his time making people prove themselves to him for absolutely no reason. As much as I love the asshole genius trope, I also hate the asshole genius trope.

Amy and Nick Dunne: I thought Gone Girl was an interesting novel in the way it showcased two of the worst protagonists ever. Nick and Amy are both equally garbage human beings and I’m so glad they ended up together because they deserve each other. I get that they are supposed to be written that way and I truly found that interesting. It was also so incredibly frustrating to read too. They were both just horrible people in every way. It’s hard to read a book where you can’t root for anyone involved in the plot.

Bella Swan: I hated her when I was a Twilight fan and I still can’t stand her. Let’s ignore Edward and Jacob for a second because at least they had interesting characteristics. Bella had nothing going for her. She had no personality. She wasn’t unique in any way, shape, or form. No will power of her own. She never really comes out of her shell or opens up in any way. Let us not forget the time she flung herself off a cliff to get Jacob’s attention. I feel so bad for Kristen Stewart to this day.

Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish: Of all the scumbags in all of Westeros, I think Littlefinger takes the cake. While Joffery Baratheon and Ramsay Bolton were sadistic assholes, at least they were interesting to watch in the same way you would watch a slasher movie. Littlefinger, on the other hand, just showed up to pull some scummy, backhanded move that only provided something for himself. Every other person in Game of Thrones had some sort of solid alliance or something to fight for, but not Littlefinger. Like Snape, he also spends most of his time being bitter over a childhood crush that rejected him. He was just made me feel gross whenever he was on screen. (Also, I would have nominated Ramsay Bolton but, let’s be real, I would absolutely not fight him.)

Holden Caulfield: Oh my god, talk about being whiney. I couldn’t stand this kid. Don’t get me wrong: I understand that he was going through some stuff and he’s only a teenager. But, holy cow, nothing gets better if you just whine about it. Even as a teenager, I understood that. Also the kid thought way too highly of himself. I would absolutely punch out anyone who thought so highly of themselves for no real reason. Holden’s attitude is a classic case of “ugh I don’t want to be like everyone else. I’m different because I think.”

Humbert Humbert: Lolita is already such a hard book to read and to have such a garbage narrator makes the whole thing even worse. What else is there to say other than he preys on a young and vulnerable girl for a majority of her life? It’s disgusting and I would happily fight this guy in a back alley.

That’s all I of the characters I can think of for now. Maybe I’ll do a part two or I’ll do a list of movie and/or tv show characters I would fight. Hope you enjoyed this.

I too have an opinion on the final season of Game of Thrones

Hi everybody! Sorry but not sorry that it has been so long since I have last posted anything. I now have two jobs so, I hope you understand I have make that paper. I’m sure many of you on this website are fans of Game of Thrones. I read the books in high school around the time that the show started. It’s safe to say that I have been invested in the series as a whole for a while. This final season, which should have been incredibly epic and satisfying, has been anything but that. Before I go any farther, I do want to say that this is no shade towards the actors or the actual filming, as both are still great. I want to talk about the writing and some weird decisions that the writers seem to have made. BIG SPOILER WARNING! If you are not caught up, you may exit now. If you don’t care about spoilers and/or the show, then you may proceed.

The Character Development: Who needs consistency in their characters’ development, right? Honestly, this is my biggest gripe with the show currently, even though there is only one episode left. It’s really disheartening to see some of my favorite characters grow so much, only to be stopped for the plot. For an example, I shall direct you to Tyrion and Jaime Lannister. In my humble opinion, they have had some of the best personal development in this show. The Lannister brothers have fought so hard against their sister and we were all so proud when they finally broke away from Cersei. What happens next? Tyrion somehow becomes very convinced that she’s going to willingly surrender, even after we watched her blow up the Sept just to keep her crown. Jaime, even after he finally gets together with Brienne, decides to run back to Cersei for no reason other than he feels guilty. I’m sorry but what? You keep expecting for some sort of turn around but, then it doesn’t happen. They aren’t the only victims of this, though. Jon Snow and Daenerys aren’t much better off. Cersei even ended up being a bit of a letdown.

The Pacing: With a short run, the episodes can’t be too jam packed in order to draw out the suspense. I do normally love that but, in this case, the pacing of the show has just been off. From the battle with the Night King to the battle in Kings Landing everything feel like it should be in a different order. I don’t know how to explain it any better. Maybe some you know what I am trying to get at. I just feel like everything could be rearranged in a better order to make the story feel more cohesive. Honestly, I think that the battle for Kings Landing should have happened in the middle and the battle with the Night King should have happened at the end. I also think that the character deaths have been put in weird places as well.

The Treatment of Women: Let’s put on our feminist lens for just a moment. For starters, none of the episodes have been directed by or written by women. I’m going to call that a red flag. The female characters have not always been treated well in the show but, we have seen them bounce back and become triumphant. Unfortunately, these strong female characters have been devolved to pure emotion. Now, I’m not saying that female characters have to be perfect and strong all the time, but they do have to have development that sticks. In this season, it seems like all of that amazing characterization has been thrown out the window. (See character development above). The only female character whose development has stuck is Arya. (Honestly, she is my favorite this season). It seems like they’re going back to favoring the male characters.

The Forgotten Lore: As you all know, the show contains forms of magic that have been explored throughout the various seasons. They have helped to compose various plot points as well. Some of the biggest forms of magic have been in prophecies. Azor Ahai (aka The Prince who was Promised) and the Valonqar (Cersei’s prophecy) were huge points in the books and they were brought up in the show. It seems, however, that they have been tossed aside as well. I really liked the magical aspect of the show and I wish we could have explored it further. (By the way, I’m going to leave it to you to look up those prophecies. It leads into a lot of fan theories.)

Those were my gripes. Let me know in the comments if you have any other grievances that I may have forgotten.

The Most Disappointing Movies I’ve Seen

Hi everyone! This spur of the moment post was brought to you my boredom. Well, it does have a little bit of substance behind it. As you all may know, I’m a big movie buff and, in this age of streaming, I can watch any movie I think looks remotely interesting. At the beginning of the year, I always make a little list of movies I want to see. Sometimes, these movies don’t live up to the hype so this is my “warning” to you all about some of these movies that may try to trick you with an interesting premise, good cast, or good CGI.

Velvet Buzzsaw: I actually just watched this movie last night and it basically inspired this post. This movie came to Netflix at the beginning of February. The general plot is that there are paintings that come to life and kill people. It sounded great, the cast was good, and the special effects were wild. Two out of these three things were in the movie. The cast was good and the effects were well done but that was the only good thing about the movie. It took too long to set up the crazy art world. The deaths weren’t that gory or even interesting. I spent way too long questioning the supernatural powers of the paintings. I shouldn’t be bored by a horror movie. The potential was there and then it wasn’t.

Solo: A Star Wars Story: You don’t need to be a Star Wars fan to know that this movie was not good. First of all, I was never interested in Han Solo’s backstory. Second, why would I want a movie about normal humans when Jedis exist? Did the filmmakers think we were sick of Jedis? Rogue One worked because it had characters we knew nothing about and it filled in the blanks of the plot for the trilogy. For those of you who don’t know, it took forever to make Solo because they changed the directors and the script multiple times. It would have been better just to shelve the movie.

Avengers: Age of Ultron: As a huge Marvel fan, this one hurt me. Is it the worst Marvel movie? Absolutely not. It did, however, just bring some weird things to the Avengers canon, like giving Hawkeye a family and trying to make Bruce and Natasha a couple. I was so distracted by plot points like these that it took away from the better addition such as the Maximoff twins. At the end of the day, I mostly blame Joss Whedon for this. Thankfully, Marvel has more than made up for these missteps.

The fourth and fifth movies in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise: I adored the first three movies of the Pirates of the Caribbean series as a kid. The first two movies still hold up. The third is on shaky ground but has its moments. The fourth and fifth one, however, are garbage. I only vaguely remember the plots. Neither were particularly interesting or engaging in any way. I remember the fourth one being anticlimactic but they tried to make it funny. The fifth one was just awkward. The worst part was was that they tried to set up a sixth movie. How about no.

Ready Player One: I did a review of this novel a while ago so, of course, I was excited of the movie adaptation. The movie, however, fell into the trap that a good majority of adaptations do. Weirdly enough, the movie seemed to remove a lot the video game aspect that was so important in the book. They changed the quests to be more movie based. It was as though they didn’t feel like explaining any of the video game references. The villains ended up being more of a mafia, rather than a sophisticated corporation. Even my mom, who didn’t read the book, knew there were adaptation issues.

Jurassic World: The Fallen Kingdom: This was not a movie I had high hopes for to begin with. I’ve always been fine with the first Jurassic Park movie and I didn’t need anything else. Jurassic World ended up being a pleasant surprise with enjoyable enough content. The sequel, however, was trying way too hard and it accomplished nothing. Half of the movie plot wasn’t even remotely hinted at in the trailer. It seemed like a straightforward island adventure movie where they were going to save dinosaurs. That only lasted half the movie. The rest of the movie was some weird thing where they had to take down a dinosaur black market thing. The movie wanted to have some political message but it failed.

The Matrix: Here is my most controversial opinion: I didn’t think The Matrix was that interesting. There I said it. Now, bring on the hate. I just felt the plot was so heavy handed. While I liked the atmosphere, I didn’t like how all of the characters talked with the same ominous tone. Throughout the movie, all of the characters keep asking if Neo is the One and it’s so annoying. You can tell the writers gave themselves a pat on the back for the whole anagram name thing. It’s not even that clever. I can see why people love the movie but I just could not get into that.

Pop Culture Trends I’m So Over

Hi everyone! Let’s begin 2019 with a rant, shall we? I’ve been noticing some patterns in various areas of popular culture and, boy, do I have some thoughts. Some of you may disagree with me while others may agree completely. Either way, I’d like to hear your opinions as well.

Disney Remakes: I get why the live action-remakes of Disney movies are being made but just because we can doesn’t mean we should. It’s not like any of these movies, like The Lion King or Aladdin, are outdated necessarily. I’m pretty sure a child of today can watch the original movies and appreciate them. I don’t need flashy special effects or new songs. Just leave my childhood alone please.

Movie to Musical Adaptations: If you’re a musical theater fan, then you can understand this one. The next musical season is going to be flooded with musical adaptations of movies like Mrs. Doubtfire and The Notebook. Again, I see the market and the reason for this but there are sooooo many to the point that any original musicals or revivals are going to get absolutely buried. I’m not saying I think these musicals are going to be bad. I’m just saying that the originality factor has gone out the door and I blame Mean Girls (even though I do love the musical adaptation).

“Trendy” Horror Movies: You’ve got to stay hip with the kids, right? So that means making technology the center of your horror movie. I’m going to included Internet urban legends (i.e Slenderman) into this category. It’s honestly just so cheesy. It never turns out meaningful. This whole “what if your phone is possessed?” thing feels like it’s written by parents who are tired of their kids being on their phones.

Overly Dramatic Teen Shows/Movies: I’m specifically calling out “Riverdale” for this one because it started the trend. There’s a fine line between escapism and just being unrealistic. Netflix also recently had an influx of teen-centric movies that just strike me as being way too dramatic for the wrong reasons. I understand that I am not the target audience but I would still like to appreciate shows like this. Back in my day, you got some vampires and that was enough. (Also, to anyone who watches Riverdale, how do you classify the show? Is it supernatural? Is it horror? Is it a drama? I don’t get it). (Please read this in an old man voice).

Gender Swapped Remakes: Obviously, we need more female led movies but simply remaking a movie but with a woman instead of a man is just soooo lazy. There’s so much material out there with female leads that could be adapted to the screen and that should be adapted to the screen. There’s also probably plenty of people with completely original ideas out there. Though this trend is starting to die down, I’m afraid it’s not going to stay down.

The Best (and Worst) Books I Read in High School

Hello everyone! While I would prefer to have a book review by now, I feel like I just haven’t had the time or energy to continue reading. Closing shifts are the worst. Anyone who has worked retail can relate to how I feel. I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to do something like this. I thought about making this about my required reading in grade school but I really don’t remember much of what I read back then. I do, however, have very distinct memories of my Honors English classes in high school. I had some very interesting teachers who had some interesting teaching methods. I can get more into that in another post if you want. (Note: I’m also going to be including plays I read on this list).

The best books I read:

  • Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (Sophomore Year)
  • The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (Junior Year)
  • Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare (Sophomore Year)
  • Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (Junior Year)
  • Dracula by Bram Stoker (Senior Year)
  • The Color of Water by James McBride (Sophomore Year)
  • The Crucible by Arthur Miller (Freshman Year)
  • Lord of the Flies by William Golding (Senior Year)
  • Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare (Freshman Year)
  • Fences by August Wilson (Junior Year)

The worst books I read (with explanations):

  • Anthem by Ayn Rand: I know a lot of people of Rand but I just couldn’t bring myself to enjoy her writing. This book, in particular, is very confusing as it is written without singular pronouns. That is an important aspect of the book as it is a dystopian novel but it doesn’t make it any less confusing.
  • Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom: I just found this book to be way too sappy for my tastes. I understand the sentiment behind the story but it was just too depressing, even for me.
  • Black Boy by Richard Wright: It always sounds bad when I tell people I didn’t like this book but it’s not because of the subject matter. This book is his autobiography and the first half of the book is incredibly interesting. The second half of the book, however, is all about Communism and it just gets super preachy. The end just felt like a let down.
  • The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros: I’m not a huge fan of poetry but I can always appreciate. This book, however, was too abstract for my tastes. Again, I understand the subject matter but I just thought it was so vague.
  • Seven Events that Made America America by Larry Scheikwart: This book was so bad that my teacher decided to not have us even finish it. It’s written from a very Conservative standpoint and also the events weren’t even that important. The entire book is just this guy ranting about the “liberal media.” It was not something that I cared for in high school and not something I care for now.

Let me know if you read any of these books in high school or tell me your favorites or least favorites. I had some odd experiences in high school English so my experience is probably very different that yours. I’d love to hear about it though.

 

Book Tropes I Absolutely Hate Pt. 2

I’m technically supposed to be studying right now, but in order to stop myself from freaking out, I decided to rant a bit more about book tropes that I’m tired of seeing. Side note: Is it weird that I stop myself from studying out of fear that I’m “over studying?” Does anyone else do that? Anyways, back to my rant, I’m going to share a few more tropes I can’t stand and I would love to hear your feedback.

Overly-Possessive Relationships – This trope tends to pop up more in the fantasy genre more often but this fictional couple just needs each other. They can’t be apart from each other for whatever nonsense reason that the author gives them. Jealousy may be a natural part of a relationship but it turns into abuse when taken to the extremes. We shouldn’t be seeing relationships bound together with too much love. Examples of this are Bella and Edward from Twilight, Catherine and Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, and Ana and Christian from Fifty Shades of Grey. 

table flip

The Snark Master – Listen, I’m a very sarcastic person and I love sarcastic characters but their personality can’t be solely that they are the sarcastic one. I want to see character traits outside of quips and one liners. It’s the worst when this character cracks jokes even during dire moments. At a certain point, it even gets cringey so please use sarcasm respectfully.

annoyed

Overly Metaphorical – Metaphors can make your book or break your book. We’ve all seen the memes from The Fault in Our Stars about the cigarette as a metaphor. You know, that’s fine but what I hate is when a writer tries to shoehorn in as many metaphors as they can. Most books are set around one over-arcing metaphor or have several running metaphors throughout but it’s just bad writing if every other person, object, or situation is a metaphor of some kind.

hades

A Whole Lot of Exposition – World building is a wonderful thing for writers. In fact, I admire writers who create entire fantasy worlds. But, what I don’t like is when a novel has to stop to give you a history lesson about the world. You can weave in the backstories without taking away from the ongoing narrative.

angry writing

The Awkward Virgin – This character knows nothing about sex. Their parents never gave them the “birds and the bees” talk. They must have slept through high school sex ed or even just biology because they are just so shocked by any sort intimacy. Female characters like this are typically supposed to be “cute” because of this while male characters like this are laughed at. How about we don’t shame people for being virgins as much as we shouldn’t shame them for being sexually active?

hate

Hip with the Kids – I may be only 21 but I struggle with learning the newest slang. Adults authors may feel the same way and you shouldn’t use modern slang if you don’t know what it means. Urban Dictionary is a great reference, honestly. If you want to write convincing teen characters, don’t try too hard. Teenagers aren’t completely stupid or self-centered and they don”t speak a different language.

angry drake

The Wimp – This character is the complete opposite of “The Punching Bag” that I mentioned in my other book trope rant. A cold breeze blows and this character is all of a sudden in a coma, or something. This character is taken down with one hit and is somehow saved by the other characters. We don’t all have to be good fighters but don’t make your character completely useless if you’re going to put them in a combat situation.

sherlock angry

The Romantic Weakness – This character is written as strong and stoic until their true love rolls around. Then, just like magic, this character melts into some kind of romantic mess from a completely different story. This sudden personality shift is so lame and takes the reader out of the moment.

sheldon angry

I realize that this is more of a writing ranting as opposed to a book trope rant but I still hope some of you share my thoughts and feelings. I’ll link you to my previous book trope rant. I would love to hear some of your most hated book tropes. Maybe we can even make this into a tag. Book Tropes I Absolutely Hate

 

Book Tropes I Absolutely Hate

I talk about many books I love and a few that I was unimpressed with but I haven’t done a full-on rant yet. I’m not going to be ranting about any books in particular but I will be highlighting tropes that I feel need to be thrown in the literary trash heap of things writers need to stop doing. These are in no particular order. I hope some of you share my opinion or maybe have a horrible trope that I didn’t mention.

Questionable Consent – I don’t know when we started thinking it was sexy for one character to reluctantly give into another character’s romantic desires but I think this one needs to die. Either both characters are in a relationship or they aren’t. Pressuring someone into a relationship isn’t attractive and we need to stop portraying this in novels.

confused

Indecisive Characters – Indecision is a perfectly viable plot device that can be used correctly to develop a character but your character ought to make a damn decision. This especially happens with female characters who are caught in some stupid love triangle. If you’re going to have your character face a tough decision, make it matter.

i don't know

Needless Character Deaths – Character deaths can be essential to a story, especially depending on the genre of story. That being said, even if the character shows up just to die or begins the story being dead, make it matter. Don’t let this person die for no good reason and don’t forget about their death. Make sure to refer back to the death as being important, regardless of if the character is good or bad or in between. Don’t kill off just because you want to.

time to die

Mental Illness as a Quirk – If you want to write about a character with mental illness then go for it but make sure that you are giving a realistic portrayal. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I can tell you that panic attacks aren’t “cute” nor am I looking for someone who will “cure” me. Don’t try to romanticize mental health issues, or even physical health issues.

nervous

Uneven Couples – It’s a perfectly normal part of romance literature to create couple that are opposites but don’t make your characters so opposite that they are basically incompatible. I hate when you’re reading a book and one half of the couple is some sort of perfect, successful, angel while the other person is basically a pile of trash. It’s especially worse when the perfect one tries to “fix” the garbage one. Write your couples better.

what

Main Characters with Stupid Problems – The whole point of your main character is to give them actual serious problems to solve. Don’t juxtapose your character’s problems with a side character’s problems who are significantly worse. I’m not going to care if the main character can’t pick which shirt to wear when their friend is dealing with a broken leg or something.

stupid

Too Much Perfection – We want our characters to have redeeming qualities but you have to balance them out with some weaknesses. Even if we’re talking physical qualities, don’t make your character unbelievably perfect. Make them a little human, at least.

perfect

The Punching Bag – If you’re writing an action-based story, make sure your character actually does react to pain like a normal person. Sure, your character might have a more strength or endurance than an average human but they should still react to an injury like any other person. Don’t make them a punching bag that can just take hit after hit without problems. Eventually, your character should get knocked down and not get back up right away.

punching

Lack of Consequences – When you do something bad or questionable, then the result of your actions should catch up with you. Regardless of if we’re talking a protagonist or antagonist, their actions should somehow result in consequences even if its karma taking place.

consequences

The Pseudo Nerd – Your character is allowed to have interests but make sure that they actually know what they’re talking about. Just because your main character can name all of the planets in our solar system, it doesn’t mean that they are an aspiring astronomer like the writer says they are. Don’t be lazy and not do research.

nerd

Too Much Crying – I feel like a hypocrite writing this because I am a bit of a cry baby but I still eventually suck it up and go on. This should be the case for your characters. I don’t want to read about your Mary Sue sobbing non-stop for no real reason. Keep the crying to a reasonable amount please.

crying